You're still at the start of your spiritual growth. We advise you to look for a mentor and take part in a small group at your church. To have community with people that live passionately with Jesus will help you and your relationship to Jesus. When you're going through hard times and have problems you'll see that it's for your best. During these times you should first and foremost do what Jesus and his word tell you to. Even though it's really hard and can sometimes be painful - just imagine that Jesus is using these things to form your soul. You must not blame others for your problems - that doesn't please anyone, accept the devil. Just start asking Jesus to give you the strength to react and act like he would. You'll see: After 3-6 months you'll surpass yourself(if you stick to it consistently).